Adventures in Nowhere
by Lupishone Wolves
Summary: If you enjoyed the "Plotless Chronicles" this is for you! It has the same beginning......but goes off into whole new directions when a mysterious figure in black appears......
1. Mysterious People In Black Cloaks

A/N: Here are the first three chapters of _The Plotless Chronicles_. I put them all in one chapter. If you didn't read T_he_ _Plotless Chronicles_ or need to be reminded of the beginning, go ahead and read it. There's still a little bit of _The Plotless Chronicles _in the next chapter (the first part, anyway), but you may just want to skip this chapter. If you _do _read it, please review!

"Elizabeth, I'm sorry. You know, it would never have worked out between us, love." Elizabeth made a face at him. "Well, gentlemen and ladies, you will remember this as the day you almost-" He fell off the edge.

"Well, that was stupid," Elizabeth commented. "Anyway, Will I hope you'll understand, but we won't work. See, I am going to marry Commodore Norrington. So go figure."

"Well, I never loved you anyway. I just didn't want to hurt your feelings. So nyih!"

"Yeah, well you suck."

"Oh yeah, so do you!"

"Oh yeah?"

Elizabeth and Will continued their bickering for a time, forcing everyone one around them to listen. They continued bickering for a week, stopping only to eat.

Meanwhile...

"Lauren, stop jumping up and down, it's scaring me." Cisca frowned at Lauren.

"Where are we going anyway?" Meara asked.

"Nowhere," shouted Lauren. A few seconds passed.

"Where are we?" asked Cisca, looking confusedly at their surroundings. There was nothing around them, nothing below them, and nothing above them.

"You are nowhere," said a voice behind them.

"And who are YOU?" asked Meara.

"I am Trist, Sexy God of Mischief. I brought you to nowhere. And now I'm gonna put you in the middle of the 'Pirates of the Caribbean'. Whether you like it or not."

Meanwhile...

"Will, this bickering is foolish. We should stop," Elizabeth said.

"No, we shouldn't," Will said.

"Yes, we should."

"No, we shouldn't.

"Yes!"

"No!"

"Yes!"

"No!"

"Yes!"

"Hello," said Meara.

"Where did you come from?"

"I win!" shouted Elisabeth triumphantly. "We stopped bickering." Will glared.

"Grrrrrrrrrrr."

"Oooh, he growls so sexily!" said Lauren. "Hi Orlando, I'm Lauren."

"I'm Cisca!" announced Cisca.

"Ow," said Meara. "The parrot won't let go of my ankle!"

"Crrrraahhh?" said the parrot.

Meanwhile...

"I am so sexy and mischievous," thought Trist.

"Ummm, who are you, and what are you doing here?" asked Elizabeth. "_Duh_. We already _told_ you who we are. We don't know what we're doing here, because the sexy god over there, whose name is Trist, by the way, sent us here," Meara explained.

"Ha ha ha! Look! It's Commodore Jackass Norrington!" Lauren yelled. Everyone gave her weird looks.

"_Anyway_, where is Captain Jack Sparrow?" Cisca asked.

"Oh, he just fell off that ledge about, um, a week ago," Will informed her.

"OH NO! I MISSED HIM!" Cisca yelled.

"Ha ha. So, what are you people doing now?" Lauren questioned.

"Well, I think I'm supposed to chase that Jack Sparrow," Norrington answered. "Just because he's a pirate. And I have nothing better to do."

"OOOOOOOOOOOH A SHIP! CANICOMECANICOMECANICOME? PLEEEEEASE!" Lauren

shouted.

"Lauren, be quiet, you're going to make everyone, including _Will_, deaf," Meara scolded.

"Oh, okay."

Trist had been standing on the ledge thing where everyone was, and thinking. Finally, he spoke. "I have decided that I am going to send Will, Lauren, Cisca, Meara,

Norrington, and, oh what the hell, Elizabeth on a quest to go find Captain Jack Sparrow. That is all for now."

So...

"AHHHHH!!!!!!" Elizabeth cried as she tripped over the mop and landed in the puddle of water made especially for her.

"Who was it this time!!??" cried Jackass Norrington in despair. Lauren grinned wickedly and pointed at Will, who smirked nastily and pointed at Cisca, who put an innocent look on her face (before bursting into irrepressible giggles) and pointed at Meara, who said simply "I didn't do it!"

"I'M SICK TO DEATH OF THIS!!!! STOP BAITING MY INNOCENT WIFE!!!!"

"She may be your wife, but she definitely isn't innocent," was Lauren's nonchalant reply.

"Oh yeah? So what am I guilty of?" Elizabeth put her hands on her hips. "Let's see…annoying us, being a…how should I say it?" Meara began

"A conceited teabag?" Cisca offered.

"Yes, that's one way. And for stealing Will…I mean Orlando when all he really wanted to do was go back to Lauren," Meara finished triumphantly

"Don't forget stealing the pirate medallion!" cried Cisca.

"And being an idiot and changing her name," added Lauren.

"So there. See, she isn't innocent at all," Meara finished.

Captain Jackass Norrington sighed. He could tell it was going to be a _very_ long voyage.

Later...

"This quest thing sucks," announced Meara in disgust. "Lauren's mooning over Will, Cisca spends WAY too much time in the crow's nest looking for the Pearl, and Trist the super-sexy thief-god isn't around! Not to mention this stupid parrot keeps stalking me!"

"Crrraaawwk?" queried the aforementioned parrot, just before Lauren swung cavalierly from somewhere in the rigging to land on its tail.

"I'm _not_ mooning over Will," she said indignantly over the bird's pained squawking.

"Really?" asked Meara. "Well then, no need for you to go and watch him as he does cool fencing moves with his shirt off." Lauren was halfway to the other side of the boat when Cisca appeared, clutching a telescope. "Hi Cisca," Meara said. "What's up?"

"Nothing much," sighed Cisca. "I've been watching all morning, and no sign of Captain Jack Sparrow."

"That's a bummer," replied Meara. "Trist isn't here either. Lauren's so lucky. The object of her affections is over there fencing with his shirt off. Mine is somewhere playing tricks on people who don't even appreciate their good fortune, and yours is off being a pirate." She scanned the horizon. "Hey look, there's Captain Jack!"

"Really?" Cisca jumped up in down in excitement. "Where?"

Meara marked something down in a notebook. "35 fell-for-its, 1 don't-mess-with-me-you-dirty-liar. This is just sad."

Cisca ran off to look for Jack some more, while Meara sighed sadly and walked down the length of the ship, past Elizabeth and Jackass Norrington's cabin. "Oh, yes, Commodore, YES! Yes, yes, YES!!!!" Meara covered her ears and groaned in frustration.

"Why can't Trist be here?" she appealed to the parrot, which was still stalking her.

"Crraawwwk," it answered her.

"Much comfort you are," Meara told it.

"Oh, look," said a random crewmember. "It's Trist!"

"Really, where?" asked Meara in excitement.

"46 fell-for-its, the you-dirty-liars still to come," announced the able seaman.

"Damn!" Meara said. "I'm worse than Cisca!"

"Ha ha," Cisca laughed.

"Hey, look, is that a pirate ship in the distance?" Lauren questioned. Will grabbed Cisca's telescope.

"No, dear, it's Tortuga," he informed her.

"Whoops, my bad."

"Hey, Tortuga! Maybe someone there knows something about where Jack is!" Cisca said excitedly.

"_Anything_, so we can just finish this stupid quest and I can see Trist again," Meara replied. "And what is with this parrot?"

Several minutes later…

"Will someone please STOP THIS GOD DAM PARROT!!!? I'm sick of it stalking me!!!" Meara screamed. They were entering Tortuga's port and everyone was too busy to pay any attention to her. She began shouting and trying to tear her hair out, "I WANT TRIST!!!"

"Here I am," answered someone behind her.

"Where!!??" shouted Meara, turning around. There was the entire crew, and they were all laughing at her.

"That's…52…times…" gasped Cisca between laughs.

"Fine! Be that way. You go off to Tortuga and find your precious Captain Jack, and I'll stay here on the boat waiting for Trist. Hmph!" Meara turned around sulkily and stomped into the cabin. She closed the door behind her and sat on the bed, sighing loudly. "Kraaaaak!" the parrot exclaimed. Meara threw a pillow at him. She could hear everyone else leaving for Tortuga…and was kind of (though not really) starting to relent…when the parrot began to glow.

"What the hell!!??" cried Meara, staring at the parrot in surprise.

"Hello, didn't recognize me, did you?" said Trist the sexy god of Mischief, grinning evilly.

"Trist!!!!" cried Meara in delight. "I didn't know that you could change shape."

"But I can…in fact…" Trist slowly changed into what seemed to be Captain Jack Sparrow. "Shall we go create havoc?" asked Trist/Captain Jack.

"Aye, aye, matey."

Meanwhile…

"Where do you think Captain Jack is?" Cisca asked Will for the fifteenth time since setting foot on Tortuga.

"I don't know," said Will through clenched teeth.

"But, seriously, do you have any idea where he might be? I mean, that would help immensely and…"

"JUST SHUT UP I DON'T KNOW WHERE CAPTAIN JACK SPARROW IS!!!! OK!!?? WE'VE BEEN THROUGH THIS!!!!" Will shouted.

"Are you people looking for me?" asked Captain Jack from behind them.

"JACK!!!!!" screamed Cisca in delight.

"Do I know you?" Cisca began explaining everything quickly. Suddenly, from behind them, another Captain Jack Sparrow appeared, with Meara trailing behind him.

"Wait a minute…" said Cisca. " Which of you is the real, authentic, super cool, Captain Jack Sparrow?"

"I am," said both Captain Jack simultaneously.

"Oh no," groaned Commodore Jackass Norrington. "Now what're we gonna do?"

"We're gonna find out which Captain Jack is really Captain Jack," declared Nikki, appearing suddenly from nowhere. "And I'm gonna be the judge," she continued, chuckling evilly………

"Ah!" said Meara. "Where did you come from?"

"From Nowhere, of course," Nikki replied. "Duh."

"Where's Nowhere?" asked Commodore Jackass Norrington.

"It isn't," answered Lauren promptly.

"It isn't?" he said in puzzlement.

"It isn't anywhere," Cisca told him, taking pity on his stupidity. "It's Nowhere. Nowhere isn't Anywhere, it's Nowhere."

"What?" said Commodore Jackass Norrington.

"Never _mind_," snapped Meara in frustration. "He needs a brain transplant. Go make out with Elisabeth, Commodore. You're irritating."

"Okay," said Commodore Jackass Norrington. Nikki glared as he left.

"Why did you make him leave?" she whined. "I had a really good plan to torture him, and now he's nowhere--" the air popped as she vanished "--to be found," she finished into the blank nothingness of nowhere.

"Well," said Will. "So much for our judge. I guess we'll just have to find a way to figure things out without her."

"This isn't fair!" said Cisca. "First there weren't enough Captain Jack Sparrows, and now there are too many!"

"Ha-ha," said Lauren.

"Shut up," said Cisca.

Meanwhile...

"I'm tired of being Nowhere!" announced Nikki loudly into the nothingness. "I want to be back there!" Nothingness would have popped had it truly existed, but had to settle for a half-hearted cluck appearing out of thin nothingness.

Back in the Pirates of the Caribbean...

"Ummmm… so yet again, I ask, how are we going to find out which Jack Sparrow is real?" Will asked.

"OH I KNOW I KNOW!" Lauren squealed, jumping up and down.

"Stop it Lauren, you're making me sick," said Cisca, who was in fact looking quite green. "Just tell us already!"

"But I can't say it out _loud_," Lauren pouted.

"Then whisper it to Will," Meara instructed. So Lauren did, with a very happy grin on her face. Everyone else (except Will) rolled their eyes. Will grinned, and nodded.

"Meara," he began, "Which Jack Sparrow do you think is hotter and sexier?"

"THIS ONE, OF COURSE!" she retorted, grabbing one's arm.

"Okay, then you are some sort of shape-shifty thingy, most likely Trist!" Lauren shouted. Trist turned back to his normal form and frowned at Lauren.

"How did you guess it was me?"

"'Cuz I'm smart. I _thought _it was weird that a parrot was randomly on the ship and it only follows Meara. Meara! So ha-ha."

Cisca practically threw herself on the real Jack Sparrow, who fell over. "Yay! We finally found Jack!"

There was a crash of thunder and everything went dark. A glowing figure appeared. "Trist. The sword of the gods has been stolen. You must find it." Then everything was back to normal.

"What in the world was that?" Will yelled at Trist, who sighed.

"That was one of my fellow gods. It would seem that one of the relics of the gods has been stolen. And you all know what that means…"


	2. Endings and Beginnings

A/N: Somewhere in the middle of this chapter the story completely deviates and goes off into whole new directions involving mysterious genderless people in long black cloaks who want to do drastic things…… R/R!

Later…

"ANOTHER STINKING QUEST!" Meara yelled. "IS THIS ALL WE ARE GOING TO DO FOR THE REST OF OUR LIVES?"

"Hey, more time with Will for me." Lauren shrugged.

"And Meara, what are you complaining about? You have Trist right next to you!!" cried Cisca, already sick of Meara's constant complaints. "You're just complaining to complain."

"Kraaaaawk!" the parrot on Meara's shoulder agreed.

"That's right, Trist, _join_ them in their conspiracy to drive me crazy."

"Drat!" said Will. "She found us out."

"Huh?" asked Meara, confused.

"The CTDMC…Conspiracy to Drive Meara Crazy" answered Lauren cheerfully.

"But…but…" Meara started.

"I say we start a new conspiracy…the CTIMSSA," Cisca murmured to Captain Jack. Everyone stared at her as if she was crazy.

"Conspiracy to Ignore Meara since She's Annoying," Captain Jack answered for her.

"I'm in!" Lauren and Will said together.

"What's going on?" asked Commodore Jackass Norrington and Elizabeth, coming disheveled from the bedroom.

Just then Nikki arrived again, rather confused. "Wait…did you figure out which Captain Jack was authentic already? But…but…I had it all planned out. I knew one of them was Trist…and I was going to steal him from Meara…and then Cisca would be happy because she had her precious Captain Jack Sparrow, and I'd have Trist (the sexy god of mischief) and Meara would be the only one unhappy." Everyone simply stared. "What're you all looking at, I can't help it. Meara isn't evil enough for Trist…I am."

"Lauren, thank you," sighed Meara, in despair.

"What!!?? What'd I do!!??" cried Lauren worriedly. "I'm innocent, I swear!"

"Do you have something on your conscience, Lauren?" asked Cisca suspiciously.

"I only played some half a dozen tricks on Commodore Jackass and Elizabeth…that isn't too bad, is it?"

"Oh, that's ok, then," Cisca replied. "You're forgiven."

"Now…" came a thundering voice behind them, "can you please go in search of the sword of the gods? The trail is getting faint as we speak."

"Yeah, whatever," Nikki answered. "Trist, where are you, you can guide the ship to wherever this 'sword of the gods' thing was stolen from. The rest of you, why are you just standing there? Get a move on! Now…" The growing crowd of people dispersed and left Nikki alone. She sighed… "Oh well, I've just gotta try again later…"

3 Days later...

"Haven't we found the stinking sword yet?" asked Meara.

"SHUT UP MEARA, THAT'S THE THREE-HUNDRED-SIXTY-SEVENTH TIME YOU SAID THAT!" yelled everyone back at her.

"I CAN'T HELP IT; WE HAVE BEEN ON THIS STUPID QUEST FOR THREE DAYS. TRIST, CAN'T YOU MAKE THIS GO A LITTLE FASTER? PLEASE? FOR ME?" begged Meara pitifully.

"NO, DON'T DO IT FOR ME!" Cried Nikki, "I'M MORE EVIL THAN SHE IS, SHE'S JUST ANNOYING!

"Shut up you two", says Trist as he pushes the commodore overboard. "Oops! Sorry."

"NO, COME BACK HERE!" Elizabeth jumps over to save him. "We can use my dress to keep us up. The air trapped under will keep us buoyant."

Jackass Norrington asks her, "But what about the ship? THEY ARE STEALING IT! Come back here, you thieves you!"

"Commodore, just let them go. Now we can be alone, forever," replies bitch Elizabeth.

"Wow, now she really isn't very innocent," says Meara.

"Hey that's the first time Meara has said something that we can agree with! All right, who is that? What did you do with Meara?" asks Nikki.

"Hey Trist, you still haven't sped this up! _God! _I just want this to be over with," cries Meara.

"Damn, she's back to normal. I shouldn't have said anything," mumbles Nikki to herself.

"Hey, what happened to Jackass Norrington?" asks Lauren as she comes back from watching Orlando fence shirtless again.

"The parrot knocked him off and Elizabeth jumped in after him, so I'm in charge now," replies Captain Jack Sparrow.

"You're so cool Jack," Cisca says, adding under her breath, "and sexy"

"That is why he is mine", says a mysterious booming voice coming from a hooded figure.

"Who are you?" says Jack.

"I am a demon from the depths of hell, see the wings, and I have stolen the sword of the gods. If you want it back, give me Captain Jack Sparrow."

"NO, he's mine, YOU CAN'T HAVE HIM!" Cries Cisca.

"Wait, what? I don't belong to anyone," Yells Captain Jack sparrow.

"I'M JUST GETTING THIS STUPID QUEST OVER WITH," Screams Meara in a frantic rage.

Lauren whispers to Orlando who has finally put on his shirt, "I think CTDMC worked, she's snapped finally."

Meara lunges at the hooded figure, only to go right through the person and fall flat on her face. And while Meara is down, Nikki quickly runs over and puts Trist the parrot in an unbreakable cage and hides him in her room.

"If you want the sword, send Captain Jack Sparrow to the Isla De Muerta, alone, then I will send the sword back to you, and you can all go on your merry way. OK?" And with those words the mysterious person disappears. "Well, I think they will be here soon. He he, my plan is working perfectly, they will never guess it's me,"

The person is interrupted by Cisca, "Um, we can still hear you."

"What? Oh, damn." They all hear a pop and the voice was gone.


	3. The Deserted Island

A/N: This was written when our friend "Leo" was obsessive about golf and wouldn't talk about anything else. Now he's just annoying though he doesn't talk about golf anymore. To warn you, you should know that Bekki can be vicious.

 "Cisca, _you idiot_! We were about to find out who that person was!" Nikki shouts at Cisca.

"Yes, but I think I know who it is anyway. I mean, my theory goes along with everything," she replies snidely.

"Well, who is then?" inquires a random person.

"I won't reveal that until we get to the Isla De Muerta," she replies.

"Not another long wait," Meara complains as she wakes up. "Where is Trist? Maybe he can get us there faster."

"Oh, I think he left to do some evil misdeeds somewhere. He has to do his job," Nikki says, then walks away whistling to her room.

One movie week later, meaning 1 fade in, fade out, they have arrived at the Isla oh whatever, you know what it's called. And instead of just 1 person going, they all go very craftily. As they get to the center of the cave, they see the demon standing there.

Cisca is the first to speak, "Alright, where is the sword, Bekki?" Everyone gasps, except Orlando and Captain Jack Sparrow.

The demon replies rather confused, "Who is this Bekki person? The sword is over there, you can take it. Once you give me Jack Sparrow. By the way, you failed to notice I'm a guy."

"Whoa, so you are really a demon? COOL!" Nikki runs over to check out his wings.

"No, he is not a demon, He is SCOTT COHEN!" replies Jackass Norrington with Elizabeth at his side.

Orlando whispers to Lauren, "Damn they're back."

"Bekki is over there, stealing the treasure and beating the crap out of some guy with golf clubs; she keeps yelling 'YOU LIKE GOLF EH? WELL HOW ABOUT NOW, AND NOW?" says the Jackass.

"Did I hear here the word treasure?" says Captain Jack.

"Hey people, Melissa is here too. We made a deal with Scott. I would get Captain Jack if I did the special effects, and Melissa would get him if she did make-up. We've been going around stealing treasure from everywhere, making it seem as if a demon was stealing. Then I was taking the treasure to my own private boat. He-he-he," says Bekki.

"Say, Bekki, so you have lots of treasure eh?" asks Jack.

"Um...tons. I'm rich. I'll split the gold if you stay with me," says Bekki.

"Sounds good to me," he replies and they start moving all the treasure back to the Pearl.

"Well, now that this is all over with, I'm taking off the costume. I have a date with Melissa," says Scott.

"Finally we can go home," says Meara. They all go back to the ship, almost everyone happy, except Meara and Cisca.

"Wait, Bekki. How come Scott and Jack were so easily persuaded?" asks Cisca.

"Duh, Cisc, magic! I cast a spell on both of them. You really didn't have a chance with Jack anyway. HAHAHAHAHA!" Later that night, Everyone but Meara, Nikki, and Trist (who is still randomly missing, and causing Meara much sadness) have a meeting.

"How about we lose Meara and Trist on a desert Island then sail off into the distance, all happy?" suggests Bekki. Everyone agrees with Bekki, and pretending they are looking for a way home, they are actually searching. So, a new quest begins.

REVIEW!!!!!!!!!! I DON'T CARE IF THEY'RE FLAMES, JUST REVIEW!!!!!!!!


	4. Where To Go From Here?

Back on the Black Pearl  
  
"So, what are we going to do now?" shouted Cisca, who was back in the crows nest looking at nothing in particular (well, really she was trying to avoid looking at Kevin, and at Captain Jack and Bekki).  
  
"I don't know," said Lauren.  
  
"Hey Nikki, did you really lose the key to the unbreakable cage?" asked Will, turning on Nikki suspiciously.  
  
"Uh...maybe..." replied Nikki, looking around innocently.  
  
"Nikki!" shouted everyone  
  
"We can't just leave them there...they don't have any food or anything," pointed out Cisca.  
  
"They have Leo, they could boil him in a pot and eat him with golf balls...instead of spaghetti and meatballs, Leo and golf balls," suggested Bekki wickedly.  
  
"Ewww!" cried Cisca from the crow's nest. "They'd probably get food poisoning!"  
  
"Cisca, are you going to be up there all day?" asked Kevin, well he shouted it really, but we don't want to get into the specifics. I mean, what do you care whether he shouted it or asked it, or whispered it, or even muttered it. It really has no importance to the story, and if we began discussing this, then you would be very bored and this story would be very boring so we won't get into that. Where was I? Oh yes...  
  
"Cisca, are you going to be up there all day?" shouted/asked Kevin.  
  
"Hey Cisca, when are you going to come down here and watch him fence shirtless with Orlando?" Yelled Nikki while still clinging to Ron's foot and him keep telling her, "Ill be your boyfriend, JUST GET OFF ME!" and her replying, "NEVER!"  
  
"What am I doing now?" Asked Kevin confused.  
  
"There is no way I'm letting that happen!" Screamed Lauren from out of nowhere.  
  
"I'd never do that. And i won't come down. I like it up here. The breeze is nice." replied Cisca. Bekki quickly whispers something to her new boyfriend. Then they both run over and start shaking the mast. "HEY! Stop that, your making me woozy!" screams Cisca at them.  
  
"Uh, duh that's the point. We are trying to get you to come down! I mean, you have a boyfriend aboard too." Replies Bekki wickedly.  
  
"Will you stop if I come down?" she frantically screams back.  
  
"Yea fine, spoil my fun." Bekki says sadly.  
  
Cisca climbs down, and being pushed by Bekki, hugs Kevin. Aww. Ok no more sappy stuff. God. This story is too mushy for me.  
  
"Well, now Im down. What are we going to do? We need another adventure." Says Cisca after getting off Kevin.  
  
"I have an idea!" Says Bekki.  
  
Cisca whispers to Kevin, "It's a miracle."  
  
"Hey, I heard that," Says Bekki, "and its true. But anyway. We could go to nowhere again, leave jackass norrington and Elizabeth here, then we could go anywhere we want."  
  
"Wait, we need Trist to do that. Don't we?" Asks Lauren.  
  
"No, I can do it too. Hehe," replies Bekki.  
  
"I dont like that snicker, what did you do Bekki?" Asks Cisca frightened.  
  
"Well I bribed Trist with the key to get him to teach me all his magic." says Bekki.  
  
"Thats who I gave the key to, now I remember," Says Nikki.  
  
"So, they have the key?" Asks Kevin.  
  
"Not exactly, in order to hide the key from Nikki, trist had to swallow it. So, eventually they will," replies Bekki.  
  
"Ok, that is just gross. But I still like Bekki's idea. I think we have done all we can here. Lets mess up things somewhere else," Says Cisca gleefully. Everyone stops and stares and her. "What, did I say something wrong?" 


	5. The Adventure Store!

A couple hours later...  
  
"Ok, so now, here we are Nowhere, but there's this slight problem..." started Cisca  
  
"What?" inquired Bekki  
  
"There's nothing to do!" ended Kevin.  
  
"They're right," agreed Nikki, still hanging on to Ron's leg. "I'm bored."  
  
"Alright...then, let's go buy an adventure!"  
  
"Buy an adventure!!??" asked Kevin, Ron, and Will simultaneously and incredulously.  
  
"Yeah, let's go to the Adventure Store, they sell exciting adventures very cheaply," agreed Cisca.  
  
"Yeah, you know, once I got this really cool adventure with the Devil from there...and it only cost $5!" added Nikki.  
  
The boys stared at them in disbelief.  
  
"C'mon you guys, how do you think we got to Nowhere in the first place?" Lauren pointed out. "We bought an adventure at The Adventure Store, and then started walking, and we ended up in Nowhere, met Trist, and everyone knows the rest."  
  
"You bought an adventure in a store?" inquired Kevin again, still incredulous.  
  
"We've been through this! Now, Bekki, get us to this Adventure Store, I'm getting impatient," cried Nikki.  
  
"You're always impatient," commented Cisca  
  
"I am NOT!" shouted Nikki.  
  
"Yes you are," everyone answered together.  
  
"Why are we still here?" asked Lauren.  
  
"Because you're all still talking. I need my concentration people!" cried Bekki.  
  
Silence.  
  
The next day...  
  
"Uh, Bekki?"  
  
"WHAT!!!!"  
  
They were all standing, well, they were all crowding on the narrow path that led to a broken down shack. The shack, well, let's just say it was old and unsanitary, and full of cracks, and leaks, and broken window panes, and...this list could go on for a while and that would probably bore you even more than my earlier paragraph, so I'll just stop. He he he.  
  
"So this is the Adventure Store..." began Will.  
  
"The famous Adventure Store," continued Kevin  
  
"Where there are so many wonderful things," finished Ron sarcastically.  
  
"No, it's not. Obviously," Lauren answered irritably.  
  
"Uh, Bekki?" Cisca asked again.  
  
"WHAT!!!!" Bekki shouted again.  
  
"Where are we?"  
  
"I don't know!!!!"  
  
"Trist was more successful," complained Nikki.  
  
"Will you all shut up! I'm new to this thing. Hold on, I got it! One, two, three!  
  
Poof! Well, really, they slid down this really long slide and then had to walk for a couple hours in Nowhere and then Bekki went 'poof', but we thought we'd save you the trouble and go straight to the 'poof'!  
  
"Now, this is more like it!" exclaimed everyone together. The Adventure Store... (The author sighs dramatically): calling it The Adventure Store is a bit of an understatement. It was more of an Adventure Palace, or an Adventure Temple...you get the basic idea. It was, purely and simply, enormous. And there is nothing more to say.  
  
When you entered the lobby (full of white marble columns, splendid stained glass windows, a magnificent fountain and other ordinary accessories in a palace entrance), you could go through a variety of doors: one led to the cafeteria where you could, well, eat, another to the place where you paid (horror above horrors) and, of course, there were the rooms that "displayed the products". There were three of these in all. The first room was full of adventures on the high seas, with pirates, smugglers, deserted islands, and treasure galore. The second room (where Meara, Cisca, and Lauren had bought their last adventure) had adventures with gods, goddesses, and famous heroes. Everyone from Robin Hood to King Arthur to Aphrodite to Thor was there. Including Trist. And then there was the third room. This room, unlike the others, didn't have thousands of papers describing different adventures that had to be activated at the cashier. Instead, it had a single wooden, unornamented box. Inside this box was a single, blank sheet of paper. And that was all. Naturally, that was what the (one, two, three...how many are we?) nine (???) friends bought.  
  
Did I say bought? I meant tried to buy. The box cost 14.95...and all they had was 14.69. In fact, the situation seemed doomed. 


	6. 26 Cents Short

Meanwhile, back on the deserted island...  
  
"Thank god!" cried Meara as the key came out of Trist's parrot body (I won't go into the details). She grabbed the tiny gold key and quickly unlocked the unbreakable cage. Immediately, Trist got them both out of the hole. "OK, I'm gonna throw this key into the ocean, so no one finds it again...and I might as well throw the cage too." Leo appeared out of nowhere (not the place, he was on the island, idiot), perfectly healed (c'mon he had three days, no one stays downtrodden that long). And so Trist took them to where their nine friends (coughs) were in a state of despair...  
  
At THE ADVENTURE STORE...  
  
"What are we going to do!!??" cried Cisca (over-reacting, as usual)  
  
"Buy a different adventure?" suggested Ron. Everyone stared at him as if he had just said the worst swear in the history of the world.  
  
"Imagine, 26 more cents and we would be in the adventure of our lives!!!!!"  
  
"Need more money?" asked a familiar voice behind them.  
  
"YEA! MONEY!!" Yells Nikki in excitement.  
  
"Yes Nikki money, its amazing. Will you give us 26 cents," but before Bekki finishes she realizes that it is Trist and Meara who were there, and cough, leo. "HEY! Whats happening?" Completely acting as if everything is normal.  
  
"You know perfectly WELL what's happening." Says Meara quite shrewdly which i dont understand why...  
  
"Well anyway, its a good thing we were able to get out, so now we can join u in the adventure," gleefully replies Leo and Meara.  
  
After that there are a few murmurs of "crap" and "damnit bekki", not that I WOULD BE ANGRY ABOUT THAT LAST COMMENT! But enough of my problems, they will get their just rewards. hehe. I mean, have lots of fun cause they bought the freakin adventure and went in, but there was a slight problem.  
  
"Wait, does anyone know how to work this thing??" Asks Cisca already frantic.  
  
There is a answer of a group "no"  
  
"What? ARE WE OLD PEOPLE OR SOMETHING? U MEAN NONE OF US READ THE DIRECTIONS!!" Cries out Bekki. "Great, so we just have to figure out how to work this thing. By the way, where are we? Are we in Nowhere?" 


	7. Problems With Narration

"No, we are in somewhere." Replies Trist. "At least I think..."  
  
"What's somewhere?" Asked Leo confused.  
  
"Shut up Leo you dont get to talk. What's somewhere?" Asked Bekki confused.  
  
"It's just like nowhere, but somewhere is always someplace, but it changes, cause somewhere isn't always one place. Follow me?" replies Trist.  
  
"No, wait will it eventually change to become nowhere?"  
  
"NO, because somewhere has to be somewhere and nowhere to become somewhere would completely destroy nowhere because then it would be somewhere and then somewhere would become nowhere and we would all spontaneously combust," replied Trist flabbergasted by the end.  
  
"Trist not one of us understood what the hell you're talking about," said Nikki.  
  
"Well I understood what he said," proudly said Meara, "I swear, fuck, wait what? Whatever, that you are ALL STUPID!!"  
  
Then suddenly everyone else's brains shrunk three sizes.  
  
"Well I, uhhhh, don't, uhhh, uh, dooh......" trailed off Cisca. Then she walks (kinda) over to Kevin and falls over his leg.  
  
"Wait you're all stupid actually. Hm, I think I kinda get how this works," says the only almost intelligent person, "You are all back to normal except for Bekki who gets smarter and figures out how to work this thing."  
  
So they return to normal (damn, that was really funny to watch) except Leo who continues to roll on the ground poking himself and giggling.  
  
"What's with him?" asks Captain Jack Sparrow.  
  
"Honey, he's always been stupid," sweetly says Bekki.  
  
"Hey! I aint nobody's Hon....."  
  
"Yes you are."  
  
"Oh...."  
  
"Well, so how does this work?" asks Meara wishing she had made someone else figure it out.  
  
"Ok, so this place is just like an ongoing story and what do u need to move along stories? NARRATION!! So, we have to talk like a narrator if we want something to happen."  
  
"So, if I said, Meara magically got 1 million dollars," and then Meara magically got 1 million dollars, "It actually worked, Meara then had so much money she couldn't count it all," exclaimed Meara and as she said it she got blah blah blah.  
  
"Hey, not fair. Why do you get all that money? I WANT! I WANT!" frantically screamed Cisca.  
  
Meanwhile Jack and Bekki were busy hiding stolen money under their clothes. Then Bekki spoke as she kept stuffing more and more money in various places.  
  
"Alright, so we need to set some rules. 1. Meara doesn't get all this money," And it all disappeared including the stolen money to their dismay, "DAMNIT. I'm mad. 2. Meara has no control over this place ever again. 3. I am the most important narrator and no one can override my decisions!"  
  
"Wait, that isn't fair," cries Meara, "Then Meara got 2 billion dollars."  
  
But duh, nothing happened.  
  
"Here let me try," said Nikki, "Then Nikki became super powerful and ruled the world."  
  
Then a little crown popped on her head.  
  
"Yeah, I'm ruler of Someplace!"  
  
"But Nikki got overthrown and there was no government!" Quickly yelled everyone, but most importantly Bekki.  
  
"Then Nikki reclaimed the throne," replied Nikki.  
  
But nothing happened.  
  
"What's going on? It's not working!" And Nikki started crying.  
  
"As I said, no government, and you can't overrule me! Hehehe, Nikki stopped crying," replied Bekki.  
  
Now lets have a little NARRATOR TIME. You may have noticed I didn't say, then Nikki stopped crying, after Bekki talked. Well, you see..... IM TIRED OF REPEATING EVERYTHING THEY SAY HAPPENED. They can narrate it themselves. If they say something happened, it did. Amazing, I only butt in if for some reason it didn't happen unless it has something to do with the overruling Bekki thing. I'm done, go on read about the more interesting story. IGNORE ME, for heavens sake.  
  
"Other narrator person?" screamed Meara.  
  
"What now?"  
  
"SHUT UP!!! About time you take a nice break and SEE a psychiatrist?"  
  
"FINE, I will. See you people in a week!"  
  
"FINE!"  
  
"FINE."  
  
"Goodbye!"  
  
"Did he leave?"  
  
"I dunno, how do we tell? There isn't a narrator to say that he left." 


	8. In Which No One Knows Where To Go Again

"Hey, who ARE all these people who just stand around and don't talk?" inquired Kevin suddenly, looking around confusedly.  
  
"I dunno. Let's do roll call," Cisca suggested.  
  
"And let's kick out all the people who don't talk," added Bekki.  
  
"Alright," everyone agreed.  
  
"Meara- talks. Bekki- talks. Cisca- talks. Kevin- doesn't really talk, but Cisca will be mad if we kick him out," Meara began.  
  
"Nikki- i don't know. Melissa- doesn't talk except randomnly...can appear randomnly and then go away again. Ron- doesn't talk. Jack- doesn't really talk except to bekki, can't kick him out. Will and Lauren (inseperable)- don't do anything. Lauren can just watch Will fence interminably. they go out. Scott- doesn't do anything he's out too. Leo- is a useful scapegoat when things go wrong," Cisca continued.  
  
"HEY!!!" Leo protested.  
  
"Let's kick him out too!" Bekki decreed.  
  
"Alright, so we're down to me, Bekki, Cisca, Kevin, and Jack," finished Meara. "And Trist, of course."  
  
"How about me?" inquired Nikki.  
  
"Nikki can be like Melissa- appearing randomnly but no really doing anything," Jack interjected.  
  
"Hey, has anyone else noticed that someone is narrating the story again?" inquired Kevin suddenly.  
  
"HEY NARRATOR!!!??? DIDJA COME BACK!!??" shouted Bekki.  
  
"YES!!! JUST DON'T SEND ME AWAY AGAIN CAUSE THEN I WON'T COME BACK FOR REAL!!!" the narrator shouted back.  
  
"That answer your question?" Meara asked Kevin.  
  
"Yes, thank you," replied Kevin.  
  
"Hey, people, what were we doing before we had that whole argument with the narrator?" inquired Cisca randomnly.  
  
"I don't know...HEY NARRATOR!!! WHAT WERE WE DOING BEFORE YOU LEFT???" Bekki screamed at the narrator (literally).  
  
"You were figuring out how to work Someplace," the Narrator boomed back irritably.  
  
"Oh yeah! And I was telling everyone what to do!" Bekki remembered ecstatically.  
  
"Oh great, she remembered," Cisca groaned. Kevin hugged her and then everything was happy. (i'm in a sappy mood. these things happen when the narrator is in a sappy mood.)  
  
"Moving on...." Meara said, rolling her eyes.  
  
"So, we need to do SOMETHING, you know, go SOMEWHERE!!!" Kevin suddenly burst out (detatching himself from Cisca).  
  
"We ARE Somewhere," Cisca pointed out.  
  
"Whatever."  
  
WILL YOU PEOPLE DO SOMETHING INTERESTING?? I'M BORED TO TEARS HERE!!!!  
  
"Shut-" Meara began.  
  
"MEARA!!!" Everyone screamed  
  
"Oh yeah, we want to keep our narrator," Meara remembered. Everyone sighed in relief.  
  
"Alright people, let's go to the Fountain of Interest!" Trist suggested.  
  
"Huh?" asked Cisca  
  
"The Fountain of Interest! It's one of the tourist attractions here in Somewhere," Trist explained.  
  
"There are tourist attractions in Somewhere?" Jack (coming out of a long stupor) inquired, shocked.  
  
"There are TOURISTS in Somewhere," Meara inquired, shocked.  
  
"Yep! C'mon," Trist replied.  
  
"Wait, what's so special about this Fountain of Interest?" asked Cisca semi suspicious of the whole thing.  
  
But it was too late, at the same time Bekki said, "And everyone was instantly transported to the Fountain of Interest!" and you know what happened next... 


	9. The Fountain of Interest

So, they all popped, yes I said popped it's the only word that I can think of to describe it at the moment, into the bottom pool of an extremely large fountain. And guess what it was surrounded by, well tourists yeah, but VERY LARGE AMOUNTS OF VENDORS SELLING SOUVENIORS!  
  
"Oh look, pointless pieces of overpriced crap that somehow I want to buy!" exclaimed Nikki in excitement.  
  
"Only nikki," sighed Cisca to Kevin, but before she knew it Kevin had also run over along with Melissa, and Captain Jack who was actually stealing instead of buying, but the point is he went too.  
  
"Um, yeah, so trist how tall is this thing anyway? I can't even see the top of the damn thing," asked Meara while craning her neck trying to see the top, which messes up her neck later but that's her fault.  
  
"That's what is interesting about the fountain, no one has been to the top, nor does anyone know where the water comes from," replied Trist matter-of- factly.  
  
"Everyone was suddenly transported to the top of the fountain of interest!" screamed Cisca as soon as Trist had finished.  
  
And all of the sudden, they were standing at the top of the fountain all of them, which was quite a close fit, but just pretend they all fit there. And where does this fountain happen to be? In the Adventure Store, you know the one in the lobby described earlier when they were in the adventure store the first time.  
  
"Wait a second, isn't the Adventure Store in Nowhere, meaning that we just went from Somewhere to Nowhere while on the same object, meaning that the fountain is Somewhere and Nowhere at the same time, and doesn't that defy everything we've had to say earlier to explain why Somewhere and Nowhere can't be the same place?" asked Bekki quite confused.  
  
A/N: Sorry it's not much of an ending, but I can think of anywhere else to stop... 


	10. Who Has the Script?

While everyone else stood around dumbfounded by the actually smart thing Bekki said, and yes this is making fun of Bekki, Trist stood absolutely perplexed because being a god he should know the answer he didn't, so before they all figure out the real truth to what's happening, lets rewind and change what happened so as not to make sure the spontaneous combustion of everyone's brains, as well as the destruction of Somewhere and Nowhere doesn't happen, as well as your, the reader's brain, also spontaneously combusting from trying to figure out what the hell is going on, and what has happened. This message will self- destruct in 10 seconds.  
  
9  
  
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"Only nikki," sighed Cisca to Kevin, but before she knew it Kevin had also run over along with Melissa, and Captain Jack who was actually stealing instead of buying, but the point is he went too.  
  
O wait, too far back. This message will self destruct, ah screw it.  
  
"That's what is interesting about the fountain, no one has been to the top, nor does anyone know where the water comes from," replied Trist matter-of- factly.  
  
Then Cisca TRIED to talk but mysteriously her mouth had been taped shut, so no one heard what she said but me, but trust it was naughty so you don't want to know. Just nod your head in agreement, that's right.  
  
"So, what was the point of coming here?" asked Bekki quite bored already, while helping Jack, who had returned from stealing, pick up coins people had thrown into the fountain.  
  
And yes, tourists had noticed the large group of people that had popped into the fountain, and assuming it was a show like the stupid tourists they are, they just point and take pictures.  
  
"Narrator, I hate to sound like Meara but you have been narrating quite a lot, and I feel weird, like I have amnesia or something. Did something happen that we don't know about?" asked Cisca acting a little woozy after taking off the tape.  
  
NO, nothing happened, just continue with the story so everyone will be happy!  
  
"Fine, if you say so, you are the narrator, but when this is over I want to read the script!" replied Cisca.  
  
"Uh, cisca, there is no script," said Kevin.  
  
"Then what the hell have I been reading from?" indignantly asked Cisca.  
  
"I have a script too, we just didn't have a chance to give you one Kevin, plus you don't talk enough for it to matter," replied Bekki evilly.  
  
Hey you guys, you know in the like last 3 pages this story has gone nowhere. Can we continue?  
  
"I thought we only covered one page," remarked Meara.  
  
O, sorry, I'm just, uh, losing my place in the script. ALRIGHT, NO MORE DISCUSSION, WE ARE CONTINUING STORY NOW!  
  
"Bekki," Cisca said suddenly. "This is a boring place. Can we please move on?"  
  
"OK, where to next?" Bekki inquired.  
  
"I dunno," Kevin replied. Suddenly he was overcome with an indescribable desire to hug Cisca, and he did so for quite a long time, which made Cisca even happier than she wasn't before, if that makes any sense. And then he kissed her, which made Meara roll her eyes and Cisca's happy-o-meter burst...literally. (This is what happens when the narrator had a fight with her boyfriend who is annoying and doesn't yell...but makes her sad anyway. and the narrator needs love. HEAR THAT KEVIN!!??) This went on for quite a while, so everyone else became bored.  
  
"I have an idea!" Bekki shouted quietly. Ha! Oxymoron.  
  
"What?" Cisca asked, breaking the kiss. *tear*  
  
"Let's go to the Valentine's Land!"  
  
A/N: perfect for today! (It's Valentine's Day) 


	11. Valentine's Land

A/N: In honor of today's holiday (despite the fact that it was written several weeks ago), here comes... VALENTINE'S LAND!!!)  
  
"Uh...Bekki?" Meara pointed out.  
  
"Yes?"  
  
"Don't you mean Valentine's DAY? You know, the 14th of Febuary..."  
  
"No, Valentine's Land. You have to go in couples, and oh, you'll see. Take us to Valentine's Land!" she announced. And they were instantly transported to Valentine's Land.  
  
The first thing they noticed upon arriving Valentine's Land was that it was pink. And I mean PINK.  
  
"Damn," Cisca muttered under her breath. "I HATE pink."  
  
"Well, you need something else to occupy your time," Kevin murmured suggestively.  
  
"Really?" Cisca inquired, hugging him tightly. Kevin slipped his hand under her chin and leaning forward and...kissed her again. (N/N: in the meantime, Bekki and Jack were occupied....and Meara and Trist were immersed in a similar...um...activity.) And again. And again.....  
  
Bad things happen when the narrator's sappy and need love. Must go call. Be back later. Use your imagination. I'm sure it can fill in any gaps.  
  
HA, ignore all that just happened, cause it didn't really! IM THE REAL NARRATOR! I was tied up by an anonymous Portuguese person, so that the replacement narrator could make bad and irrelevant events happen, SO JUST IGNORE ALL OF ANYTHING TO DO WITH VALENTINE'S LAND! So that we can actually get on with this story and make it go somewhere, since we really haven't accomplished anything now have we? And if you wonder what happened to that fake narrator, u obviously cant hear the brutal beating in the background.  
  
OK, so they got bored with the Fountain of Interest, so they decided to wreak havoc on Wilmette! 


	12. Anywhere

"Alright people, we have a new adventure to partake, I think we should all go back to New Trier and terrorize the unsuspecting students!" offered Bekki.  
  
"Won't they recognize us? And wait, school started? WEVE BEEN MISSING SCHOOL!!" cried Cisca suddenly very panicked.  
  
"No of course not, time doesn't apply here like it does back home. They will never know we are gone, and when we go back we will start from wherever we left off when we left," replied Bekki calmly.  
  
"So have we not aged? Weird, but we will have a lot of explaining to do when we get back," said Cisca.  
  
"Who said we were going back?" asked Bekki shiftily.  
  
"YOU DID!" yelled Meara back at her.  
  
"We already bought this stupid adventure, even if it had been pointless so far, so lets quite a pseudo Illinois here in Somewhere," announced Bekki proud of her not so well though out plan.  
  
"Well, this should be interesting," mumbled Cisca to herself.  
  
"Trist?" Bekki called. "Is there a pseudo Illinois in Somewhere?"  
  
"Well... actually..." Trist commenced slowly. "No."  
  
"I KNEW her plan had a fatal flaw," Cisca cried triumphantly.  
  
"But there is one in Anywhere," Trist concluded.  
  
"Anywhere?"  
  
"Yes. You see, we've already explained that Nowhere and Somewhere can't be in the same place because otherwise everything would spontaneously combusted, right?" Trist began to explain. Everyone nodded slowly. "So, there is an exception to the rule. If you're in Anywhere, than you CAN be Somewhere and Nowhere at the same time. That's how the Fountain of Interest works, by the way. It's really in Anywhere," Trist finished.  
  
There is a brief flashback to standing on top of the Fountain of Interest. Damn. So I really didn't need to repeat that, did I? Oh well.  
  
"I see..."  
  
"But since you can go anywhere in Anywhere, I'm sure there's a pseudo Wilmette there."  
  
"Alright!" Bekki cried. "So how do we get there?" 


	13. A Double Cheeseburger

"Wait, what the hell are you talkin' about?" asked Meara finally clueing into the conversation.  
  
"Well, we are in Somewhere right? so, somewhere is part of anywhere! Thusly we are in Anywhere!" replied Trist enthusiastically.  
  
"Don't you feel smart, usin' thusly. Well fine. But I'm bored with the psuedo Wilmette idea. Too much explaining of how it would work kinda ruined it for me. I'm hungry. SUDDENLY BEKKI GOT A BIG FAT DOUBLE CHEESEBURGER WITH FRIES AND A MILKSHAKE!" yelled Bekki randomly.  
  
And not a second later did a person from McDonalds walk up with a tray of a double cheeseburger, fries and a milkshake. She then handed it to Bekki and poofed into nothingness.  
  
"Hell no, I don't want no crap McDonalds," said Bekki after receiving the food, "narrator this sucks, I mean look at this burger, it ain't no bigger than my fist!"  
  
Then the labels on the food changed from McDonalds to CJ Arthurs and suddenly the food quality got a million times better and just as Bekki was going to dig in, Trist burst in.  
  
"I HAD TO EXPLAIN ALL OF THAT FOR NOTHING! NO REASON WHATSOEVER! That's it I QUIT THIS DAMN STORY!" and with that he stormed off.  
  
"TRIST WAIT, COME BACK TO ME! FINE I QUIT TOO!" and Meara stormed off after Trist.  
  
"Damn it Bekki, everyone is leaving now. You and your damn hunger." said Cisca angrily.  
  
"Uh, Nikki is still here," replied Bekki hopeful while focused on food.  
  
"No, Nikki wondered off a long time ago after not saying anything for a long time, along with everyone else that we neglected," screamed Cisca back and with that stormed off. With Kevin.  
  
"Well it's not my problem, just goin' with the flow," said Bekki as she left which made Cisca even angrier (despite the fact that she wasn't there), "well narrator, looks like it's just you, me, and this good ole double cheeseburger."  
  
IS THIS THE END OF THE EPIC TALE? WILL BEKKI BE ABLE TO FINISH THE DOUBLE CHEESEBURGER? DO I EVEN STILL HAVE A JOB? DID I EVER GET DENTAL? These questions and more answered in, NEXT WEEKS THRILLING STORY!  
  
"Um, what did I miss?" asked another Bekki walking in.  
  
"O, everyone left. Don't know why, they all randomly got pissy and stormed off. There was nothing I could do; I was being attacked by a double cheeseburger monster with his pals freaky fries and monstrous milkshake. Luckily I managed to tame, and consume them WITHOUT the help of the other people." said other now stuffed Bekki.  
  
"DAMNIT, U ARE THE WORST STUNT DOUBLE EVER! I GO ON A SIMPLE COFFEE BREAK, AND LOOK WAT YOU ACCOMPLISH IN 15 MINUTES! YOU ARE FIRED(copyright Donald Trump)" yelled a very angry original Bekki while paying the stupid buck it costs to say the YAF phrase, stupid DT. Guess who's the publisher of this fine work, (with him the publisher, he guarantees it to be the BEST story ever.) hehe, rollin' in dough. hmm, homemade dough with chocolate chips...mouth watering goodness......  
  
SO, way off track there. What will happen now? Will Bekki be able to get the cast together? Will the other writer be able to keep the story interesting? Will i stay as god damn sexy as I am right now? O YEA BABY! ALL THIS, NEXT WEEK @HOTMAIL.COM!  
  
A/N: The "other writer" wishes it to be none that this entry was none of her responsibility. She also blames her co-author for the fact that everyone left, and that the story is tottering over a cliff at the moment. Wow, that was a really bad metaphor. Anyway, in the NEXT chapter, all will be well again because MY narrator is SO MUCH BETTER than BEKKI'S! Not to mention SEXIER, and SMARTER, and COOLER. So THERE.  
  
Caps locks is strangely amusing. 


	14. Attacked By Bushites

A/N: And NOW I, the slightly more controlled author, will attempt to save the story from the disastrous elements that the uncontrollable author placed in it. God that was a wordy sentence.  
  
Happy Easter to everyone! Please review our fic! We are dying (or at least I am) without reviews!  
  
Amongst the people who left Bekki...  
  
"So, what are we going to do now?" inquired Jack.  
  
"I really don't know," replied Trist.  
  
"Damn it, Bekki was the one with all the good ideas!" Meara cursed.  
  
Everyone sighed simultaneously, and then paused to reflect how absolutely cheesy that was.  
  
"Should we try to go to the pseudo Wilmette?" Cisca suggested.  
  
"Nyah. Too lazy," Trist replied.  
  
HEY PEOPLE!!!! THE NARRATOR HERE IS TRYING NOT TO FALL ASLEEP!!! GET INTERESTING!!!!!  
  
And then chaos broke out.  
  
OK, not really. It was just that a bunch of little red and blue demons attacked our group of friends minus Bekki. And they were shouting, "VOTE FOR BUSH! VOTE FOR BUSH! VOTE FOR BUSH!"  
  
"AH!" screamed Cisca. "We're being attacked by bushites!"  
  
"Bushites?" Kevin inquired.  
  
"Bushites are mindless people who vote for Bush! Despite the fact that he's awful! And that he doesn't wear deodorant!"  
  
"How do you defeat them?" Jack asked curiously.  
  
"That's the thing," Trist sighed. "You can't. They won't listen to reason."  
  
"So what should we do?" Meara inquired.  
  
"How about we stop this pointless conversation and run for it?" Cisca suggested.  
  
"Sounds good," someone replied. I can't tell you who it was because our five friends (6-1 = 5 right?) were running so fast that they were a blur. A blur with a red and blue blur running behind them....  
  
With Bekki...  
  
"Take me to where Meara, Cisca, Trist, Jack, and Kevin are," Bekki told Somewhere.  
  
And she did, arriving just as the aforementioned ran off.  
  
"WAIT UP!!! HEY!!! WHERE ARE YOU PEOPLE GOING!!!" Bekki shouted after them.  
  
What will happen to our five friends? Will they manage to escape from the Bushites? Will Bekki ever catch up with them? Why am I imitating the other narrator? All this and more in the next episode of...  
  
ADVENTURES IN NOWHERE  
  
Brought to you by your local Easter Bunny.  
  
Isn't foreshadowing wonderful? 


	15. The Easter Bunny of Doom

A/N: AND NOW FOR THE TRULY, TRULY AWESOME AUTHOR PERSON! This story is definitely more interesting and random with me. More fun right? Yeah, I'm good. Anywho  
  
"Dang it, I can't catch up to them, I way too lazy plus, they all went blur and stuff, I don't know how to do that. Bastards," said Bekki disappointed.  
  
Well, Bekki sat there doing nothing staring blankly into space, literally. She still hadn't noticed the foreshadowing left by other author, even though I'm not sure what other author with the other supposedly "better" narrator meant exactly, but I'm sure I can twist it to make things better. And plus, THEY STOLE MY IDEA! Bastards...  
  
"I GOT IT! It's Easter, meaning I CAN UNLOCK MY SPECIAL EASTER BUNNY OF DOOM ATTACK!" thought Bekki out loud.  
  
Immediately afterward, Bekki transformed into THE EASTER BUNNY of DOOM!!! (Emphasis on doom). If you are wondering what the hell an Easter bunny of doom is, use your own damn mind to think of something. If you really want, think of the killer bunny in Monty Python and the search for the Holy Grail, except a lot cooler. Anyway, now she could go blur and MORE!! Moving faster than the speed of sound, she was able to reach the others very fast, who were still being chased by  
  
"so uh, what's up Cisc?" asked Bekki when she reached them.  
  
"Bekki? Why are you here? You didn't care earlier before if we left," asked Cisca semi-confused about where the hell Bekki came from, and why she was a damn Easter bunny of DOOM.  
  
"Well, actually that was my stunt double, I was on a coffee break so I'm here to get things back on track," replied Bekki very casually as if nothing was happening.  
  
"Wait, is there's actually a plan to this story?" asked Meara.  
  
"Well no, but that's beside the point. I think we need to get solve the current problem," answered Bekki.  
  
Then thinking quickly, yeah she can think fast, Bekki turned around and using her Easter bunny of doom powers took away the citizenship of the little demon thingies, even though they are a disgrace to demon kind.  
  
"HA! NOW THEY CAN'T VOTE! and yes I have the power to do this, because I am THE EASTER BUNNY OF DOOM! HAHAHAHA!" screamed Bekki in triumph.  
  
The demons quickly disintegrated because they had no purpose in life. And everybody stopped running.  
  
"Well, what do we do now?" asked jack.  
  
"Well, we get rid of pirates of the Caribbean, including you. Bye Jack!" said Bekki as he went back to his own world place thing.  
  
"Well, what does that accomplish?" asked Cisca a little down.  
  
"Well now, WE GET MAD MAD HOUSE ALTS!" said Bekki.  
  
"Oh god, this is going to be interesting," said Cisca amidst Bekki and Melissa jumping up and down in anticipation. 


	16. In Which Nothing Happens

A/N: I wish to state that the other author, convinced as she is at her superiority, has TERRIBLE grammar. I spend half my time CORRECTING her grammar. She also has a tendency of making the story go NOWHERE and I DO NOT mean that literally.  
  
And I want to know why no one reviews our fic. It's making me sad. PLEASE!!!! REVIEW!!!!  
  
Another thing, if you're confused as to who everyone is, we are all a big happy...group of friends. Yes. I'd give up keeping track of them...I can't and I'm the damn author. Well, one of them anyway.  
  
*******  
  
"We need to get out of here," Cisca murmured to Meara and Kevin after several hours of watching Bekki and Melissa watch Mad Mad House obsessively and compulsively. "Not only are we stuck in a small room with two obsessive compulsive people but this show is driving me crazy."  
  
"Ditto," Kevin replied.  
  
"Let's go find Jack," Trist, who had been eavesdropping, suggested.  
  
"Sounds good," Meara agreed.  
  
And so the four friends sneaked out of the room and left Bekki and Melissa to wither away and die while watching Mad Mad House.  
  
TBC............ (I'm too tired to write) 


End file.
